Hi Honey, Let’s get Divorced.

INFORMING YOUR SPOUSE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS 

How you tell someone about your divorce plays a large part in how he or she will react to the news.  If your spouse does not already know, try telling someone else, first, to practice what you will say.  Decide what your goals are:  to hurt your spouse?  To be free so you can wed again?  To move forward with your life?

Financially:  decide how much you can afford, and then weigh that against what you are willing to fight for, and willing to let go.

Be open to what your spouse might want or need from a divorce:  How much time to get mentally prepared?  Knowing that he or she will not have to move?   A specific piece of furniture, jewelry or electronics which may have greater sentimental value than market value?  Honestly consider that person’s feelings, to the extent you can, and tell them as kindly and gently as possible that you want a divorce.

Is this someone who would rather have the news by letter, in person, in a restaurant, or over the telephone?  (I know — if you knew how to make them happy, we wouldn’t be having this discussion!  But think about the most and least likely scenarios before dropping the bomb.)

The recipient of the news will probably take it badly, regardless (remember, divorce sucks!!).  But, the less fuel you add to the fire right now, the less the fire will burn.

You do not have to be in this alone.  But, neither is every person you know or meet on your team.  The team roster is listed below.  Use it.  Think about these people, and who they are, and where they fit in.  Line some of them up in advance, even if only hypothetically, so that you have practice saying what you need to say.  Do not make the mistake, however, of letting your spouse feel as if everyone in the world already knows and has been chuckling behind his or her back.  Once you start spreading the word, be ready to tell your spouse as soon as possible.

What if the news has already been given, and you are already at odds with each other?   Remember, it is never too late.  Step back, take a breath, see things from the other person’s side to the extent that you can.  And, when you are ready, be willing to approach that person with a fresh perspective and an open mind.  And, again, think in advance the best way to approach him or her to help guarantee success.

There are two people who you want representing your position to your spouse:  you and your lawyer (through your spouse’s lawyer).  NOT “helpful” friends or relatives.

What we love:  Your divorce should be a process in which each step you take leads to a shorter and healthier process.  This is the first step towards a healthy and sane divorce.

Related articles

• How to choose your own Divorce Team (oberstlaw.wordpress.com)
• 5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce (oberstlaw.wordpress.com)

How to choose your own Divorce Team

THE DIVORCE TEAM

Assemble your team. As you recruit each team member make sure they know that they are being recruited, and for what role.

Here are the roles you need to fill, and what their characteristics should be:

Cheerleader:  (best friend) Does not offer legal advice. Does not criticize: not you, not your spouse, not your children. Does listen to you, for hours on end, if necessary. Does accept late night phone calls. Does remind you that you are doing the right thing and that you will get through it.  Does remind you that you had valid reasons for marrying this person in the first place.

 Defense: (parent/sibling) Does not offer legal advice.  Does know you as well as or better than you know yourself.  Does not say blaming or accusatory things about you, your spouse, or the children.  Does help sort out which accusations against you are true or false, without hurting you.  Does help you remember what your goals are for the divorce.  Does keep track of legal advice from your attorney, and reminds you to apply it.

Offense: (legal counsel)  Does know the law and what you can expect from your divorce.  Does help you decide what matters in the divorce.  Does help you stay on target for the divorce. Does remembers spouse’s specific misdeeds, in an objective manner. Does not gloss over spouse’s weaknesses, but is not angry or nasty. Does not do anything to extend the process unnecessarily. 

Special Teams: (friends) Does not offer legal advice. Does not know any details of your divorce. Should not be told any details of your divorce. Does not want to talk about your divorce, your spouse, or your kids. Is available for an evening out dinner/movie/drinks, or to watch the kids while you go out. Is not the same sex as your spouse*      (*unless it is your spouse). Does not always need to be the same person, should be approximately once/month.

 General Manager: (You) You are the general manager of your team. You determine overall strategy. You are the one who drafts the players, assigns them their roles, and calls the shots. You are the one who decides what information is given to whom. You are the one who must fire anyone who is not doing his or her job, and replace them. You are the one who must put a positive spin on this for the media feeding frenzy. You are the one who keeps the team focused and motivated.

What we love:  You are the only one who has to be happy with the team line-up. Keep it for as long as it works for you. Change it when it needs changing.  Now, for once, this is all about YOU!

 

Related articles

• Like the NFL, Divorce is a Team Sport (loveyourdivorce.wordpress.com)
• Getting Divorced (turbotax.intuit.com)

What is JLo’s true passion?

What do these things have in common:  Q’Viva – The Chosen, The Miami Dolphins, Kohl’s newest clothing line, Emme Maribel Muñiz, and Maximilian “Max” David Muñiz?

They are all joint projects of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony.  (Okay, the Dolphins have a lot of owners, including J Lo and Anthony.)

On July 16 the couple made a joint announcement in civil, even downright social, tones that they had agreed to divorce and had agreed on almost everything.  This is a very public way to end a seven year marriage begun by a wedding where the guests did not know it was a wedding, and not just an afternoon party, until they were already there.

The marriage may have begun in some secrecy, but it is ending publicly and with a very clear message that both parties are in control of their own divorce.

As the list emerges of  “everything” they have agreed upon, it becomes quite understandable why they want clear control and agreements.

First, and of course of most importance are their three year old fraternal twins, Emme and Max Muniz.  J Lo and Anthony both apparently recognize and appreciate the impact their split will have on their young children.  Maintaining a united front will make it easier for each of them to be a solo parent as the need arises.

Then there is the “joint” clothing line announced last November by Kohl’s department stores.  According to New York Magazine, the department store has already released information that the fashion lines will move forward as a men’s line by Anthony and a Women’s line by Lopez.  Each party has signed an individual contract which they each still plan to fulfill.

The television show in which two of the biggest Latin Pop Stars in the U.S.travel Latin America looking for talented musicians, Q’Viva – The Chosen, is also still a go, according to msn.com.  The genuine enthusiasm by each of them on the show’s promotional website: www.qvivathechosen.com makes it apparent why they need to keep their world from crumbling, even as they dissolve the marriage at the center of it all. 

These are megastars who have built a world together.  Just because their marriage has ended does not mean they need to destroy all the good that has come from their partnership. 

What We Love:  These talented artists are each known for their passionate performances, but are able to set their passions aside for the bigger picture here.  Their children, their careers, and the careers of others are all intimately tied-up together here.  Their true passion might just be preserving the greater good they have jointly created.

Related articles

• Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Split (since1910.com)
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Split! (popsugar.com)
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony – The Way They Were! (popsugar.com)

5 Ground Rules to Love Your Divorce

Below are my 5 ground rules to help you (or someone you love) Love Your Divorce:

1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!!

2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse).

3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.       

4.         It is never too late.

5.         If someone’s life is in danger, get out now.  Figure the rest out later.

What is the purpose of having ground rules for a divorce? To give the divorcing parties some guideposts.  Some relativley simple questions get more complicated during a divorce.  Questions such as, “Is this normal?” “What should I do next?”  “Why is this happening?”  Most of the questions which arise during the divorce process can be answered quickly and accurately by one of the ground rules. Memorize them and apply them often, both during, and especially after, a divorce.

You need to know the rules in order to participate actively and intelligently in the divorce process.

1.         DIVORCE SUCKS!!  When you are confused, as a person watching or living through a divorce, always go back to rule number one: divorce sucks.  There are moments when it will be easier, with glimpses of hope, but those are the highlights.  The actual substance of the process of divorce is that it sucks:  for the person who wanted a divorce, for the person who didn’t want it, for their children, their friends, and relatives.  Here’s what it does: it sucks up everyone’s time, money, and attention.  Remember how much energy it takes to plan and throw a wedding?  Well, that’s an event that you really can’t do badly, because whatever happens, most people will say, “it was a lovely day.”  A divorce is just as huge and personal and public as a wedding, except NOW you feel like everyone’s plan is to tell you that you are doing it wrong, making it even more high-pressure.

The best divorce sucks much more than the worst wedding. 

Despite the fact that it sucks, people go through divorce for very compelling reasons.   The only thing worse than a really bad divorce, of course, is a really bad marriage.  It is bad for the spouses, but also for their friends, family, and – worst – children.  So, getting out of a bad marriage requires going through a sucky process, the divorce.  But, then, when it is over, if it is done well, both the marriage and the divorce are over, and everyone is free to move on with their lives.  If a divorce is done poorly, the fallout can last several lifetimes.

2.         All spouses are monsters (including your spouse’s spouse).           My friend went with her daughter Sarah to college freshman orientation. Sarah was a bright, beautiful 18 year old who had mostly lived alone with her mom since she was 2.  They had a nice house.  Sarah had her own room, her own phone line, and her own television.  At a certain point in the orientation, the kids were sent off in one direction, and the parents were brought into an auditorium where the dean addressed them.  The dean said, “Expect a lot of phone calls the first year.  Each one of your children will call you and tell you that he or she cannot live with his or her roommate because the roommate is the worst kid in the world.  But remember, somewhere a kid is calling home and saying the exact same thing about your child.”  The thing is; they are right.  Eighteen year olds are usually terrible roommates.  That’s part of the point of college; learning how to do your own laundry, empty your own garbage, and stock your own fridge.  But the path to knowing how to do those things is slow and bumpy.

It’s the same thing in a divorce.  Your friends and relatives will only hear your side of the story.  What kind of dummy would you have to be to tell everyone you meet that you’re the one at fault?  Plus, honestly, divorce is so devastating to everyone’s egos, that we all have to tell ourselves it is the other one’s fault.   Just remember, the other guy is saying the same thing about you, and, frankly, the other guy is also right.

People are at their worst during a divorce.  Criminal attorneys always say the same thing to us family lawyers:  we may represent bad people, but they are on their best behavior with us; you may represent good people, but they are on their worst behavior with you.  True. 

So, feel free to convince your friends and family that you are right.  And, as the friend and family of a divorcing person, tell them they are right.  Just remember, you are also wrong.

3.         It does not matter whose fault it is.               The Presiding Judge of the Stamford,Connecticut Court at one time was Judge Harrigan. I always enjoyed appearing in front of him, because I have only ever seen him be fair, honest, direct, and to the point.  In a seminar he was giving once, he told us that it does not matter to the Judge who did what to whom.  According to Judge Harrigan, we are all adults, if we didn’t want to be married to a jerk we should not have married a jerk.

You can tell me that people change, and she wasn’t a jerk when I married her, and he lied to me, and everything else.   I will tell you that while that may be true in your particular case, there are so many cases in which it is not true, that no judge would believe you anyway.

Besides,Connecticut is one of several “no fault” states. This means that you are free to get a divorce whether or not someone did something wrong. If you want a divorce in these states, you are entitled to one.  It’s the law.

4.         It is never too late.     For what?  For a divorce, for a happy life following divorce, for a new start at life.  Just because you have waited this long to do whatever it is, does not mean you have to wait any longer. 

This advice does not apply exclusively to family law.  My father started law school at age 45, after a long successful career as a computer analyst. He has now had his own law firm in town since 1990.  And, he was not the oldest student in his class.  So, if you think being 35 years old and having to learn how to be single again is hard, you’re right.  But it is not impossible, and it is never too late to get started.

5.         If someone is in danger, get out now.  Figure the rest out later.  People stay in untenable situations because it is easier than figuring out a new situation.  Usually, who cares?  It’s your life and you’ll get out when you are motivated enough. When it comes to a truly dangerous situation, things change.  The outcome affects everyone around you, not just you.  If you know someone who is in danger, get them out now, ask questions later.  If you know that you are putting someone else in danger, do yourself the favor of getting out before it gets worse.

What We Love:  Divorce may be a tough process, but you are not the first person to walk this path.  With proper guidance and insight the process can be short and sensible.

Will marriage matter for Owen Wilson’s baby?

Owen Wilson’s 5 month old son Robert and Robert’s mother Jade Duell are relocating toNew York while Wilson remains in California, according to reports on www.Hollybaby.com, PerezHilton.com and www.popeater.com.

The parents have apparently known each other for a little more than a year, having met on an airplane.Wilsonannounced that he was going to be a father 4 days before Robert was born. In interviews he was excited to be a father.  But he has now reportedly told friends and media that he was not ready for a stay-at-home relationship with Robert’s mother; so better to move on honestly than cheat behind her back.

Stick-it-out or let-it-go decisions aside, how will Robert be affected by the fact that his parents never married each other? 

Luckily for the baby, marriage no longer determines paternity in our country. Either birth certificates or paternity tests do.  If Wilson was voluntarily listed on the child’s birth certificate he is presumed to be the father with all of the attendant legal responsibilities of fatherhood.  The States (New  York and California) cannot force him to stay home every night with the mom nor visit his son every weekend.  But they can make sure thatWilson’s earning capacity benefits his child. 

In this case that is some substantial earning capacity. Even if Wilson does not make the same amount of money every year of his career (some movies are more successful than others), courts will determine an average amount that represents his annual earning capacity and assign a percentage of that as child support to be paid on Robert’s behalf, probably to the mother while she is raising him.

Although nothing says the parties are required to submit their break-up to a court, since they were never married, Duell would be wise to do so.  She and Wilson may have reached any agreement they want for financial and visitation matters, and it may seem fair or even generous to her right now.  But as the reality of being home with a baby continues to grow – and asWilson’s sense of obligation continues to fade – these arrangements may cease to be as attractive to the parties.

The benefit of bringing the matter to court now, while they are (presumably) amicable, is to give their personal agreement the enforceability of a Judge’s decree.  Failing to make a payment to a “baby momma” across the country may be easier to do if there is no possibility of jail time attached to it.

Likewise, as an unwed father,Wilson has no presumed rights in the life of his child. If the parties have reached an amicable agreement about the amount of time Wilson will enjoy the company of his baby, or how the mom plans to raise him, or any other pertinent questions, they would be easier to enforce with a legally binding agreement on the court records.

What We Love:  Robert’s rights are protected, not matter what his parents decide to do with (or without) each other.

Related articles

• Owen Wilson And Girlfriend Jade Duell Break Up (socialitelife.com)
• Say Aloha to Owen Wilson’s Son, Robert Ford! (popsugar.com)
• Owen Wilson: I ‘Jumped Right Into’ Diaper Changes (celebritybabies.people.com)

Is it Alimony yet?

Alimony:  I interviewed a woman this week for a divorce. They have two small children. Her husband has been unemployed for 4 months and has begun drinking more (amount) and more (frequently).  She works full time to support the 4 of them.  They rent their home. She has a bachelor’s degree and does not make a lot of money.  But, she has suddenly become the primary breadwinner.

They are fortunate that her parents live nearby and provide free day care for the kids.

This was her first question: Will I have to pay alimony?

As a practical matter, probably not. He also worked for the first 6 years of their 6 and a half year marriage, so he has not (yet) become accustomed to his wife being the primary earner.  But, if she were willing to continue this for an extended period of time:  Maybe. And – eventually – yes.

The moral of this story:  If you think you are going to divorce the ungrateful person sitting on your couch, the longer you wait the worse it may be — for YOU!

What We Love:  This is a smart client. She is looking at the signs and being as proactive as possible in a really hard situation.

Related articles

• Lili A. Vasileff: Women Increasingly Pay Alimony (huffingtonpost.com)
• The Tax Implications of Divorce (turbotax.intuit.com)

Elderly celeb divorce trend: greed?

Sixty-one year old Peter Frampton has filed for divorce from his 3^rd wife, Christina Elfers. The couple separated on New Year ’s Eve 2010 after being married for 15 years.  Frampton’s filing grants custodial custody of their teenaged daughter to her mother and requests joint rights of legal custody.  The cause of the breakdown of the marriage is cited as “irretrievable breakdown.”  All very clean and neat.

Until you do a little background research on Peter Frampton. According to the Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natalie-pace/peter-frampton-lost-at-lo_b_884214.html, Frampton’s three divorces are not what has put him in the legal history books for the state of New York, it was his successful suit to prevent having to pay palimony to former live-in girlfriend Penny McCall in the 1970s.

The case, McCall v Frampton, filed in New York Supreme Court, WestchesterCounty, 415 N.Y.S.2^nd 752, states:  “McCall (plaintiff) sues Frampton (defendant) for damages and real property pursuant to the alleged breach of an oral contract. The plaintiff claims that acting on representations made by the defendant; the plaintiff left her husband, lived with the defendant, and devoted all her resources, time, and effort to the promotion and success of the defendant in his endeavors. The defendant moves herein to dismiss the plaintiff’s complaint.”

Frampton won that suit, despite evidence of his entire rock-star persona, and thereby some of the success of his breakout album “Frampton Comes Alive” was a direct result of McCall’s work on his behalf.

Meanwhile, 81 year old Buzz Aldrin is being sued by his 3^rd wife and her daughter after he filed for divorce last week. http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/20/buzz-aldrin-lawsuit-starbuzz-company-unfair-business-practice-breach-of-contract-divorce-wife-lois-driggs-cannon-stepdaughter-assets/ 

Documents presented in this suit claim that Aldrin’s career had reached a standstill when he met Lois Driggs. She and her daughter, a Stanford graduate, began a business selling Buzz Aldrin paraphernalia and rehabilitating his career as a media star. According to msnbc: “in better times the astronaut credited her with helping him through his struggle with alcoholism and depression.”

Since filing for divorce from Driggs, after 23 years of marriage, he has frozen all of the company assets, claiming that she and her daughter no longer have the right to make living from the company they helped him found.

So here we are again – a celebrity who ignores other people who have helped him gain his success. Except that, in these cases, there is also the romantic interpersonal aspect, not just a business venture, to these relationships.  Where a “normal” person might look at this as an opportunity to be generous, recognize that McCall and Driggs were not only critical for financial success and stardom, but also someone with whom they were in love and take the opportunity to be gracious and generous. These celebs have used it as an opportunity to be even greedier, lumping the romantic break-up and the business relationship into one messy ending.

What We Love:  Aldrin and Frampton, it turns out, might both be jerks.  In a country in which divorce is every person’s legal right, no one has to stay married to a jerk.  Whether married 15 years or 23, these women have the right to move out and move on with their lives.

Related articles

• What do we make of Buzz Aldrin’s 3rd divorce? (loveyourdivorce.wordpress.com)
• Peter Frampton — Show Me the Way … to Divorce (tmz.com)
• Buzz Aldrin Files For Divorce (since1910.com)

What do we make of Buzz Aldrin’s 3rd divorce?

Buzz Aldrin was 39 years old when he walked on the moon on July 20, 1969.  He has spent most of his adult life as an icon and hero to countless Americans. At 81, he has filed for divorce from his third wife. He married Lois Driggs Cannon on Valentine’s Day 1988. 

23 years of marriage, no matter how it ends, is a successful partnership.  The divorce papers site “irreconcilable differences,” which means that they do not want publicity attached to the causes of the breakdown of the marriage.  The reasons are their own, and apparently small enough that they can be successfully contained privately.

The couple had no children together. Aldrin’s 3 grown children were from his first marriage.  This was a marriage between adults. Much has been made of Aldrin’s ability to get physically and mentally healthy thanks to this third wife.  She is credited with helping him overcome alcohol addiction and depression. 

Just because they no longer choose to remain married does not mean that the relationship was not a good one.  This divorce can be a simple distribution of assets between friends, and everyone leaves better off than when they met.

Any relationship – marriage, friendship, business – in which two partners improve each other’s lives for more than two decades and then separate amicably is a noble accomplishment.  This divorce may be yet another testament to what a truly heroic man Buzz Aldrin has always been.

What We Love:  Mature adults making mutually supportive decisions, even as they dissolve their partnership.

 

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• Buzz Aldrin Files For Divorce (since1910.com)
• Strike Three! Buzz Aldrin Divorces His Third Wife (perezhilton.com)
• Buzz Aldrin of Apollo 11 Moon Landing Divorces Third Wife (space.com)

Why is Jack White Throwing a Divorce Party?

The White Stripes’ front man Jack White and his wife of 6 years model Karen Elson, threw a party this weekend, to celebrate their wedding anniversary and divorce.

That’s right, an intimate gathering of friends  in Nashville to help the couple celebrate their un-coupling.  How does this reflect on the marriage itself, or the people?  What message does it send to their children?  Is this worse than the “regular” type of divorces, where everyone goes their separate ways quietly?  Does this mean that they should stay together, if they can get along well enough to have a party together?

The truth is that some partners make better friends than spouses.  True happiness in life might come from the ability to realize the difference between a friend and a spouse and love that person for whichever they are to you.

Most states now give couples the right to file for divorce by citing “irreconcilable differences” as the sole reason to end the marriage.  The story behind those differences might be as sordid as a romance novel or as simple as best friends needing more space from each other.  If the parties can manage to bring their own level of discourse and drama down to a simple phrase like this, “irreconcilable differences,” much like a band breaking up over “artistic differences,” then all parties are able to move forward more freely with less hurt and baggage attached.

Consider the friends, family and children of White and Elson – they are free from having to decide who was “right” or “wrong” in the divorce. They never have to feel forced to choose sides after the divorce is complete, and they never have to feel awkward about inviting both people to the same event.  They already know that both White and Elson still have enough respect and esteem for each other to celebrate together.

What could be more comforting for the couple’s two minor children?  Or more calming for the couple?  No one has to worry about becoming the outcast in their own circle of friends or families.

Recommendations for throwing your own Divorce party:  Only invite people who are truly supportive of both parties.  Serve food that each partner loves (and the other never liked): Sushi and Italian?  Wild game and vegan?  Let your differences shine!   Take a moment at times throughout the party to stop and connect with the people you are most afraid of losing such as a trusted mother-in-law, your husband’s best man’s wife, etc. 

And, consider playing songs from this playlist, recommended by www.deathandtaxesmag.com:  The Avalanches “Since I Left You,” Fleetwood Mac “Go Your Own Way,” Jeff Buckley “Last Goodbye/Unforgiven,” The Magnetic Fields “Yeah! Oh, Yeah!” Dinosaur, Jr. “Over It,” Prince “When You Were Mine” (beautifully described as a love that’s stronger than a relationship), Gwen Stefani “Cool,” Simple Minds “(Don’t You) Forget About Me,” and – of course – The White Stripes “We’re Going to be Friends.”

What We Love:  It is worth going to the site and watching the videos while reading the song descriptions.   Whether you have the break-up party or not, this flurry of empowering songs and videos helps put it all into perspective:

 http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/102281/mixtape-madness-jack-white-and-karen-elson-divorce-party-mix/ 

Related articles

• Jack White & Karen Elson Throw Divorce Party (since1910.com)
• Karen Elson & Jack White Throw a Divorce Party (INVITATION) (blippitt.com)
• Jack White, Karen Elson plan ‘hum dinger’ divorce party (latimesblogs.latimes.com)

Do Celebrities Divorce More Frequently Than the Rest Of Us?

While no scientific study could definitively answer this question (define celebrity – Brad Pitt and other A list’ers only? Anyone who has had his or her fifteen minutes of fame – Nene Leakes?)   There are some indicators that certain celebrity names recur in divorce proceedings for reasons which may be completely unrelated to their celebrity status.

According to www.divorcestatistics.org, there is a higher rate of recidivism among divorced people. The more divorces you have had, the more you are likely to have!

While the overall rate in the United States seems to continue at about 50% of all marriages, according to the website: “The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%. The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%. The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%.”

There could be several reasons for this alarming set of statistics.  Maybe some people are better suited for marriage than others; but keep trying anyway.  Maybe Elizabeth Taylor, for example, loved the idea of being a bride but was not cutout to be someone’s wife.

There have also been psychological studies devoted to the idea that some people like the experience of falling in love, more than the work of being in a committed relationship.  Anecdotally, there are stories of people who have been engaged 10 or more times, purchasing dresses and making deposits; only to end the engagements before the weddings ever take place.

Some statistics support the idea that a first marriage between people in the early twenties (Olivia Wilde) are more likely to end in divorce (37%) than marriages between people in their mid to late 30s (6%) www.divorcestatistics.org (Hugh Hefner?!).  Early marriages leave more time for subsequent marriages.

There is also the folk wisdom that “cheaters cheat,” meaning somebody who leaves his or her first wife for you is likely to leave you for a newer model when the time is ripe. (Kelsey Grammer?)

Maybe people who have gotten into and out of one bad marriage relatively unscathed feel bolder to try the next marriage even if it may not be a perfect fit, knowing they can always survive another divorce.

Whatever the multiple and varied reasons behind the statistics, one thing is certain. Each divorce is a unique set of facts and factors between two people who never intended to be involved in a divorce.  Each divorce needs to be treated as carefully and tactfully as humanly possible so that the people who emerge on the far side have a real chance at starting again in a better situation.

What We Love:  The relative normalization of divorce in this country is what gives all marriages accountability.  People are no longer trapped in a bad marriage; making the decision to get out is the first – and frequently most difficult – step.

Related articles

• Why the divorce rate isn’t really 50% (psychologytoday.com)
• Women Waiting Longer To Marry, Divorce Rate Drops [REPORT] (hellobeautiful.com)